Do Not Face Your Fears

Do NOT face your fear in property or business!! What a silly piece of advice. Try this instead…

Today I’m going to give you some advice and it is “Do not face your fears.” Do not face your fears, please. 

It’s the worst piece of information I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Well one of them anyway, and as you know, I listen to a lot of self development, business coaching, business mentoring, property investment experts, and gurus. I listen to all of their content podcasts and videos and blogs and guides and all that stuff. I consume a lot and you get quite a few of the self-proclaimed business mentors that give that advice to go and face your fears. Well, I might be turning into a bit of a grumpy old man and just complaining about everything and whining and moaning, but actually, I disagree with that advice and I really want to get your thoughts on it. Because if you are a business person, right? 

And actually it’s the same if you’re a property investor or a business owner, if you want to grow your business and you want to achieve success then of course, there are certain fear factors at play here. Some people have fear of failure. Some people have fear of success. Some people have fear of public criticism and ridicule I know I do. 

Hey doing all this stuff it terrifies me. Putting myself out there for criticism and ridicule and believe me there are some people on this planet who don’t deserve to be here their first instinct when someone’s trying to do things like this is to ridicule and criticize and troll. And hey, I do it anyway because I know that I’m helping more people than are just out to criticize anything and anybody. 

But anyway, the whole face your fears thing is terrible advice because look this is me not facing my fear. This is me feeling my fear, working out a way that I can manage my fear and then doing it anyway. I’m not just going, I’m facing my fear. Which I think is silly if anybody does that is silly because what are our fears? Our fears aren’t actually in property investing, fear of the house falling down, fear of the tenant not paying rent. That’s not the fear. That is the object that creates the fear. The fear itself is what that does to us and we’re all products of our childhood. We’re all products of our surroundings and our upbringings and all of that. We’re all products for that. So you know, if you’ve got 2 landlords and both of their fear is tenants not paying rent. Well that triggers different emotions in each. No two people are the same. So don’t just go and face the fear of say property investing don’t just go and do it anyway. You need to understand what that fear actually is. What does it do to you? Now I’ll give you some examples.

If I’ve got a fear myself of tenants not paying rent, then I don’t get scared of not having the money because I feel like well I can deal with that. I can deal with the mortgage lender if I can’t afford to pay my mortgage payments,I can deal with evictions, I can deal with that stuff. So that doesn’t scare me but the whole fear for me associated with a tenant not paying rent is maybe it’s the failure. It’s the fear for me of I would see myself as a bit of a failure. People might see me as a bit of an idiot perhaps because I couldn’t get a good enough tenants going to pay the rent, and then I’m going to fall behind on my mortgage payments, and that’s going to affect my credit rating, and the next time I go and get a mortgage. I can’t get a mortgage because I haven’t paid my mortgage payments. So I can’t invest in more properties and then I can’t invest in more properties, meaning you know what I’m not very good property investor if I can’t invest in properties.

And so it links up somewhere right? And you remember I did that little exercise with everybody ages ago now. Seems like ages ago. Of the why where you take the thing. It’s the opposite isn’t it? You take your what motivates you and that what I did it on. What motivates you? And a lot of people say “Money.” “Why?” “Because I want to be able to buy nice things.” “Why?” “Because I want to have security” “Why?” And so on and so on. You can do the same for your fear if your fear is your tenant not paying your rent. “Why?” “Well because if the tenant doesn’t pay the rent, I might not be able to pay my mortgage payment.” Why are you scared of that? It’s not very good link, but you get what I’m going at. If you keep asking yourself, why is that scary to you? why is that scary to you? Constantly, then you’ll get to the root of the problem, you’ll get to the answer. So again for me look a lot of my own fears in everything to do with business, property investing, anything. Is relating back to my fear of ridicule, criticism, failure, looking silly, not looking like a good business person, or a good property investor, right? And tenants not paying rent as a small part of that fear. So when people advise, you know, the ones. The self-proclaimed business mentors the ones that say that their mentors in business. 

And hey, I’m not judging whether they are or not that but I’m talking about the self-proclaimed. And it’s those people that will pick up on a generic piece of advice and then inflict that on everybody and then assume that well, that’s what you have to follow. You have to follow that advice “Go and face your fears.” Well, I kind of disagree with it and it’s why I keep my little mentor client group quite small. Because I want to be able to focus on each individual person. Because everybody’s different, if I have 50 mentor clients and I just said to everybody “Hey, right. You’ve got to face your fear. What’s your fear?” “Tenants not paying rent.” “Right, you got to face up to that.” It’s just terrible advice. 

But if I’ve only got 3 at the moment. Yeah 3. If I’ve only got 3 mental clients and I’m able to focus on each one and I’m able to make the advice relative to that person then that’s better advice and I might be trying to explore. What is your actual fear? Mr. and Mrs. Client. And then we can work out something to counteract it and for me facing your fear is not a good thing.

Calculating your fear, managing your fear, feeling your fear, and then doing it anyway is really good advice. Now that can translate to anybody. So if you have a fear of property investing or if you have a fear of business, maybe there’s something holding you back from growing your business or growing your property portfolio. Then you need to first of all calculate your fear. Well, first of all, you need to feel the fear. 

You need to acknowledge it in yourself. And then you need to calculate your fear. Put into numbers I always find I can deal with things better if I turn them into numbers because then they’re just numbers and numbers aren’t scary. Worst-case scenarios best-case scenarios, they’re easy to work out and once you’ve turned them into numbers, then you can manage your fear. Because you can start mitigating against it. Mitigating against the risk for that I mean. 

For an example, if you’re a landlord right now, right? you’ve got a couple of properties and you don’t want to expand your portfolio because you have this little bit of a deep-lying fear, you’re going to just going to take up too much of your time, things are going to start going wrong because you’ve got more properties, it’s going to be too much effort, too much hassle. Then calculate it as a worst-case scenario because somewhere in your mind, you probably do want to increase your asset value and your income but there’s something stopping you from doing that. So first you need to feel. “Yes okay, there is something there. There’s something that prevents me from doing that, even though I kind of want to do it. It’s something that prevents me.” And you know what your brain will make every excuse under the sun. That’s the way brains work, right? Anything that they’re scared of they will try and prevent from happening and that’s natural, that starts when you’re born. 

But let me tell you this, if you now take that fear and understand it, and learn about it, and then calculate it into figures. So if your fear is it’s going to start taking up too much of your time, turn that into a number, turn that into an amount of money and then you might think. Well, you know, what if I take on another property I might get a managing agent in. I might get them to sort it all out or I might start putting in place systems and processes, right? So that things happen that I don’t need to get involved in but I might also calculate the cost of my time and my fear and my worry against what it would cost me to get a letting agent in. 

And here’s a quick tip, letting agents will give you a discount. If you’ve got multiple properties. There you go, but don’t haggle too much because they need to make a profit and if they make a profit, they’re going to be more incentivized to do the job in full. So you need to calculate the fear put it into a number and then you can manage it if that’s the figure that I’m going to be spending out each month to protect me from that risk. Then how am I going to get that money back? And once you’ve learned how that money works, you can manage it. 

You can set aside £10 a month, or £20a month, or £30 a month, or £50 a £100 whatever. Set that aside put into a separate account so that you can protect yourself from your own fears. And once you’ve done that now you’re really rocketing and this is the same in business. If you’re a business owner and you’ve got some sort of fear something holding you back from you know. For me right? I’ll give you my example and you know I didn’t decide. Oh, I hadn’t actually planned on sharing this with you all but did you know what sometimes when I just think that sometimes honesty, openness and all that is is better but for me for an example. I know that I’m really good at talking to customers and potential customers and you know, I know that but for some reason there’s a bit of a fear inside me, which is actually a bit fearful of picking up the phone and really going after and and try to talk to as many new customers as I can. Believe it or not, you know everyone looks at me as this big louder than life character whose not scared of anything. No, I’m scared of just as much as everybody else. The only difference  is that I’m kind of talking about it and I’m calculating my fears and I’m managing my fears like this podcast. I’m terrified of doing this podcast putting myself out there for ridicule. But yeah the whole customer thing and this all happened a while ago. I couldn’t quite work out what it was that I was scared of, until I started doing this podcast and I realized it’s the same thing. Picking up the phone to somebody new, talking to them about something I’ve created. A product or a service or company that I’ve created opens me up for ridicule and criticism. 

Now, it’s also perhaps a bit of rejection in there. Even though weirdly enough whenever I’ve done it I’ve been really good at it. I’ve been really good at talking to customers, finding out what they’re looking for, and what they need, and prescribing them a solution based on their concerns and their challenges, and what they need and want and so on. I’ve always been really good at it, but  I don’t do it enough. Myself. I’ve been really good at training other people to do it, which is what I’ve always fallen back to and that’s how I’ll hide behind the fear. So what I’m going to do now is I’m going to. I now I understand that fear. I know about that fear. I know it is something that’s preventing me from doing those things. Now yes, you could make the point that if I’m good at training people to do that. Then I should do that rather than me doing it myself, but I also have to learn how to manage the fear. I can’t teach other people to acknowledge, or feel, calculate, and manage their own fears if I can’t do it myself. 

So I’m going to first of all acknowledge that fear, I feel that fear. Then I’m going to calculate that fear I’m going to turn into numbers best and worst case right? If I make 20 phone calls tomorrow for an example. And out of those 20 phone calls 2 people tell me that I’m an idiot and not worth a space, not worth the air that I’m breathing. Then okay, what’s that worth to me? But if I get 2 people who say “Yeah, I like to go for that, that be great.” Then what’s that worth to me? And then balance that out. So I’m going to go for that and then once I can put that into numbers, then I can manage that fear and I can just go for it. Now, this is the same for property investors.

You know what those there’s probably in beginner property investors. There’s that fear of taking that first step. Now that could be the first step in going out and viewing enough properties, that could be the first step in making properly calculated strategic offers, that can be you might get past that stage and the fear is in actually going for it and buying that property. So it’s really about feeling that fear, calculating what that fear means. Well for me its monetary figures and then managing that fear then. Because once you put it into a monetary figure, now you know how to manage that. You know, what you need to achieve to cover yourself. And then once you’ve done that you can do it anyway. So I’m going to do that. I’m going to try and do that tomorrow. See how I get on and I might even if I remember I might even do another follow-up recording to show you how I got on. But what I’m trying to get to is there are loads of generic advice that people use to further themselves, right? And I’m not criticizing that because everybody is just trying to grow their own piece of the pie right? We’re all just business people trying to grow our business and you can do that in an honest way. 

But what I’m trying to say to people that listening to this is that sometimes that generic advice if it’s pushed on everybody. It can be quite damaging and if everybody is told to just face their fears. Then I think that could be really detrimental to you Mr. and Mrs. Landlord, you Mr. and Mrs. Property investor, you Mr. and Mrs. Business owner. So don’t listen to that piece of advice or if you do listen to that piece of advice of things like face your fears and stuff.

Then you know what, work it out for yourself and translate it into a way that works for you because you are different to everybody else. No one’s better or worse than anybody else. No one’s superior. You’re all just different and so we all just need to make sure that any generic advice that we’re hearing we calculate it for ourselves. So feel the fear, calculate the fear, manage the fear, and do it anyway. Because if you want to be the best version of yourself at one thing then you could be the best version of yourself at everything and that includes this. Imagine if you could use that strategy of overcoming fear for everything in life. Now, I don’t mean going try wrestling a lion or jump off a cliff. Yeah, that scares us all but you get what I mean. 

Yeah. So anyway, I hope that helps and it actually helped me sometimes just talking about these things, helps me and I just came out with that thing today. Just then that I’m going to do, I’m going to work out,

I’m going to feel it, I’m going to calculate it, I’m going to manage it, the fear of picking up the phone to potential new customers and it’s going to start tomorrow for me.